So Far, No Voices
I've been off medication for less than a week.
I had been on Lithium (600mg 2x/day) for only 7 weeks. It seemed to be working well. My pdoc added Topomax at the relatively small dosage of 50mg/day each am. I was also taking 5mg of Ambien each night to sleep, because apparently it is not normal to sleep only 3 hours a night.
Immediately upon starting the Topomax, the hallucinations began. Now these were not vague, benign hallucinations out of the corner of ones eye. Oh no, these were full blown, acid tripping, people appearing and disappearing, colors, tracers, and the most bizarre of thought processes. I did this for 5 days. Then I stopped all medication.
I know this is a mistake. I know I should keep taking my Lithium. I know that if I don't, I have a very good chance of successfully suiciding in the near future. Right now I don't care. Right now I am enjoying this little hypomanic spell. Later I will worry about jumping off the bridge. Later I will worry about the gun. Later I will worry about the overdose. Right now, I just want to feel good, almost normal, not depressed.
Just for a few days.
Then it will stop.
I had been on Lithium (600mg 2x/day) for only 7 weeks. It seemed to be working well. My pdoc added Topomax at the relatively small dosage of 50mg/day each am. I was also taking 5mg of Ambien each night to sleep, because apparently it is not normal to sleep only 3 hours a night.
Immediately upon starting the Topomax, the hallucinations began. Now these were not vague, benign hallucinations out of the corner of ones eye. Oh no, these were full blown, acid tripping, people appearing and disappearing, colors, tracers, and the most bizarre of thought processes. I did this for 5 days. Then I stopped all medication.
I know this is a mistake. I know I should keep taking my Lithium. I know that if I don't, I have a very good chance of successfully suiciding in the near future. Right now I don't care. Right now I am enjoying this little hypomanic spell. Later I will worry about jumping off the bridge. Later I will worry about the gun. Later I will worry about the overdose. Right now, I just want to feel good, almost normal, not depressed.
Just for a few days.
Then it will stop.
posted by Stoic Stranger at 9:47 PM
2 Comments:
Hail,
Been thinking about this, and remembering the occasions when I did it. I think the thing is when you cease your medications you need someone around you who knows what is going on and whom you can trust. Doesn't have to be a doctor, or a family member, just someone. Because if things do go wrong you may need someone to step in. Safety of yourself and others, that kind of thing.
Good luck with all this, and remember what they say about free advice being worth what you pay for it.
John
Thanks for the advice John.
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