Breathing
It has been a long time. So long that I imagine that any and all who where reading my blatherings have long since ceased. So I shall continue in the manner I started, talking to myself.
Life has been good, very good. Early winter was tough, but not as tough as it has been, certainly not with the severity of last year. No voices. No suicidally black depressions. Not too many crippling depressed days. Mostly I felt this strange feeling. Actually it was a lack of feeling. A huge weight gone from my heart and mind. I finally realized it was feeling good. I understand that some people feel like that all the time. That must be incredible. No wonder most people do not understand, and are not drawn to suicide. When I feel like this, I don't want to die. Very groovy.
So much to update on. I think I will update in bits and pieces.
Sugar Daddy (the man formally, and still, known as my husband) and I have been doing great. Lots of talking. Lots of affection and intimacy. Lots of all that other good stuff. Little to say because good news doesn't always make interesting news. We have started talking about the "B" word. This is unfair I know. When we got together I was completely against the idea of having any babies. But now, when I feel good, the idea has it's appeal. More later.
Lost a friend. This was sad, and I probably should have seen it coming, but I was blind. My next door neighbor, who had been such a rock and friend, got drunk and propositioned me. I, of course declined. Not only am I totally faithful to Sugar Daddy, but if I was going to stray, next door neighbor guy would never come close to making the list. I told Sugar Daddy and we decided to let it go. After all next door neighbor was drunk and had been a good friend. But next door neighbor decided he needed (his word) to pursue this feeling. Sugar Daddy and I finally had to tell his to buzz off and never return. Very sad. But a good lesson learned. Never trust single men to be friends. That should be obvious I know, but sometimes I can be so naive.
Gained an old friend back. This is fantastic. Best friend from high-school. We drifted apart and now have gotten back together. Assuredly more later.
Now, back to taxes. It can't all be fun and games.
Life has been good, very good. Early winter was tough, but not as tough as it has been, certainly not with the severity of last year. No voices. No suicidally black depressions. Not too many crippling depressed days. Mostly I felt this strange feeling. Actually it was a lack of feeling. A huge weight gone from my heart and mind. I finally realized it was feeling good. I understand that some people feel like that all the time. That must be incredible. No wonder most people do not understand, and are not drawn to suicide. When I feel like this, I don't want to die. Very groovy.
So much to update on. I think I will update in bits and pieces.
Sugar Daddy (the man formally, and still, known as my husband) and I have been doing great. Lots of talking. Lots of affection and intimacy. Lots of all that other good stuff. Little to say because good news doesn't always make interesting news. We have started talking about the "B" word. This is unfair I know. When we got together I was completely against the idea of having any babies. But now, when I feel good, the idea has it's appeal. More later.
Lost a friend. This was sad, and I probably should have seen it coming, but I was blind. My next door neighbor, who had been such a rock and friend, got drunk and propositioned me. I, of course declined. Not only am I totally faithful to Sugar Daddy, but if I was going to stray, next door neighbor guy would never come close to making the list. I told Sugar Daddy and we decided to let it go. After all next door neighbor was drunk and had been a good friend. But next door neighbor decided he needed (his word) to pursue this feeling. Sugar Daddy and I finally had to tell his to buzz off and never return. Very sad. But a good lesson learned. Never trust single men to be friends. That should be obvious I know, but sometimes I can be so naive.
Gained an old friend back. This is fantastic. Best friend from high-school. We drifted apart and now have gotten back together. Assuredly more later.
Now, back to taxes. It can't all be fun and games.
posted by Stoic Stranger at 2:31 PM
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