Answering Questions
First, an apology. As a blogging neophyte, I am not sure of how to answer comments or questions posed. So forgive me if this is not the acceptable method. Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.
I am bipolar, or schizophrenic, or schizoaffective or just plain nuts. It depends on the mental health professional one talks to. My most recent diagnosis was as bipolar. This diagnosis was made by a psychiatrist after about 45 minutes of discussion of a lifetime of symptoms. It may or may not be accurate.
No matter what the diagnosis, I am usually high-functioning. It helps to be highly driven and organized. And the constant invective inside my head keeps me motivated to be.... well, perfect. That is one thing that voices in one's head are good for, a constant stream of analysis and criticism.
My psychiatrist does know that I have stopped medication. He is not pleased. When I started medication under his supervision, he believed that medication would be the only way I would avoid suiciding within the next 12 months. My husband is also aware of my decision to cease medication. He is also not pleased. However, me has "veto" power over my decision. I have told him that should I become unstable and dangerous to myself, he has the authority to, in effect, order me back onto medication. I have tried to make this unmedicated trial as "safe" as possible. The weakest part of the chain however, is me, as always. I will not always share with him or with friends how I am feeling. I hate to impose on family and friends in such a burdensome way when the demons are on me.
This blog helps. An anonymous and catharctic vent, it seems to help focus and calm my thoughts. When my mind is racing or feeling profoundly depressed, or both at the same time, it is good to know I can say what I think, and not worry about an involuntary 72 "observation" at the local locked ward.
So some, not all, questions addressed. I will try to be more thorough later. And please feel free to tell me if I have violated blogging etiquette.
I am bipolar, or schizophrenic, or schizoaffective or just plain nuts. It depends on the mental health professional one talks to. My most recent diagnosis was as bipolar. This diagnosis was made by a psychiatrist after about 45 minutes of discussion of a lifetime of symptoms. It may or may not be accurate.
No matter what the diagnosis, I am usually high-functioning. It helps to be highly driven and organized. And the constant invective inside my head keeps me motivated to be.... well, perfect. That is one thing that voices in one's head are good for, a constant stream of analysis and criticism.
My psychiatrist does know that I have stopped medication. He is not pleased. When I started medication under his supervision, he believed that medication would be the only way I would avoid suiciding within the next 12 months. My husband is also aware of my decision to cease medication. He is also not pleased. However, me has "veto" power over my decision. I have told him that should I become unstable and dangerous to myself, he has the authority to, in effect, order me back onto medication. I have tried to make this unmedicated trial as "safe" as possible. The weakest part of the chain however, is me, as always. I will not always share with him or with friends how I am feeling. I hate to impose on family and friends in such a burdensome way when the demons are on me.
This blog helps. An anonymous and catharctic vent, it seems to help focus and calm my thoughts. When my mind is racing or feeling profoundly depressed, or both at the same time, it is good to know I can say what I think, and not worry about an involuntary 72 "observation" at the local locked ward.
So some, not all, questions addressed. I will try to be more thorough later. And please feel free to tell me if I have violated blogging etiquette.
posted by Stoic Stranger at 10:40 AM
2 Comments:
I completely miss the blogging etiquette myself. Most people respond to their comments with a comment, but I think it's fine to answer with a complete post. Yeah, don't you just love the diagnoses you get? Whenever I drop medicines I try to increase exercise . . . that works for me. That, sex, and chocolate. Go figure. I hope this all works out well for you. I am blogging my way through my own personal marital/career/mental health crisis, so you have my sympathy and good wishes.
Best of luck to you as well.
Post a Comment
<< Home